WHEREFORE ART THOU TECHNOLOGY?

I don't quite understand technology. Allow me to rephrase that. I don't understand technology in the slightest. I consider it a wonderful day if I can afford to leave my phone locked in my dresser whilst reading a book in my bed. Also I feel particularly happy when the fanciest item on my plate is a good hunk of bread or perhaps a nice piece of cheese. I call these my medieval days. I love those days. I want to live my entire life like that. So when I'm a famous writer, I will most likely be a hermit that refuses to acknowledge the current year. I think I'll just go back to the 1700s if you don't mind. Thank you.